But_vai?! asked: I have fallen for someone I didn’t think I’d find for a while.
I met my boyfriend on Valentines day through a friend at a club. I know, never the place to meet someone. But as soon as we were introduced I felt like I was meeting an old friend. We chilled together throughout the night and I felt so comfortable and at ease around him like I’d known him for years. When I was near him a felt a friendly warmth. At first I wasn’t physically attracted to him and I didnt think about trying to ’seduce’ him as such :D, it was more an immediate emotional connection. Plus he had a girlfriend of 3 years.
Ironically, Valentines day I had won a trip to Paris, all expenses paid, speedating on the eurostar. I didn’t really bond with anyone that day but I did make a few nice friends. We got back to London late that night and I was tired, but my friend visitng from dubai convinced me to come out with him and his friends to that club that night.
After that day we talked a lot, everyday in fact. Nothing romantic or flirty, just getting to know eachother and random conversations. He seemed very in love with his girlfriend, I was jealous because I wanted to have what he had not him necessarily at this point. I had never come across anyone I felt so at ease with so soon after meeting, and I was convinced we’ve had a past life together, or we’re soulmates. We think the same things as well. It wasn’t until his birthday, a month after we met, that I realised that my feelings had developed and I just knew one day we’d be together and happy whether it be one week or ten years…something was there and waiting to happen. Well something happened that week, and I didnt feel awkward about it. I didn’t feel guilt over his girlfriend- I did worry he could slightly be using me, but the way we could just hug and fit together for hours on end, the unsaid bond told me it would end OK.
I could never tell him I wanted him to break up with his girlfriend as I didn’t want to put pressure on him or be a ‘homewrecker’! even though I knew we bonded so well, his girlfriend had been the main part of his life for 3 years, which is a long time for a man of 22. They once had a strong love that slowly deteriorated since she left the country last sept. I couldnt forcefully break it - if we were meant to be it would end.
He went on holiday to Dubai where his girlfriend was in March…about 2 weeks after we took our relationship that one step further, I could sense his stress and confusion without him saying anything. Whenever he is stressed I feel it too and become anxious. When he was there, however, all he did was fight with his girlfriend and realise that the love had totally gone. She still loved him though and her efforts towards him were pointless as whenever he had a spare minute he called me. He would wait until she was asleep then sneak onto Skype. one week into his 3 week holiday he couldn’t stand it anymore, initiated a messy break up, and got on the first flight to London to stay with me for a few days.
As you can imagine, I was overwhelmed and just so happy. We could develop ourselves together further and freer now. He wasn’t happy at first as it hard trying to forget someone that was so deeply involved in his life, but we were inevitable.
Things have been going great ever since. We spend a lot of time together and we are both going through personal dilemmas, so eachothers company seems to soothe those stresses. However theres still another dark cloud looming above our happyness, which brings me to the point of my question….
Once he finishes his degree here in UK, he is moving back to our home city of Dubai to start his career in real estate alongside his best friend. He is due to move september, and we do have a lovely summer together planned, but I can’t get it out of my head. He’s going to be a 7hr flight away from me, and we’ve kind of decided that we’re not going to work as long distance hasn’t worked for us in the past. I’m going to restart Uni in September and I have to do it here in uk.
What do I do?
I actually want to try long distance…better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all? We have promised to stay friends no matter what…maybe it will happen at a better time and place in our lives. But writing this now is breaking my heart. I know we’re still in the ‘honeymoon’ period, but i have been in this stage in a relationship many times and it has been nothing like this. But he is going to live a bachelor lifestyle with his best friend and new career, and I am meant to be going to start uni life of parties and new friends (which now seems in jeapordy due to complications with my applications)
Has anyone been through a similar situation?
Any sort of advice would be great. whether it be to help settle me and keep my ind at peace about it and prepare myself for this breakup…or maybe some way I can talk to him about it and convince him to try…I have talked to him about it a
